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Dreamed about you last night

August 26, 2008

I dreamed about you last night.We’d found an apartment in the city with a nice view of the other buildings blocked only by the dentist’s office out the window. Everyone came over to see us love each other.They were a pain in the ass but we needed an audience. For the first time I cried after waking up from a dream. I’m still crying and my chest hurts thinking about how much I miss you. I can tell myself it’s only my ego but that doesn’t bring you here for me to smell. I can tell myself that no matter where you are, you are right here.Because that’s what zen says and I had that experience. But I don’t see you and I can’t touch you. It’s a damned good illusion making me cry.

So Zen has to include this too. The pain of memory. When I cried, I was nowhere else but here. For whatever reason that made me cry. Even if the memory made me cry, I was having the memory right now and I wasn’t even awake to get lost in my thoughts. Dreams don’t count in Zen I have read. It’s all a dream supposedly. But it’s all real too. It has to be both at once.

I’m grateful for the chance to love you. I hope that I can feel that love for all beings everywhere. That quality of untainted , pure love that I am not afraid for anyone to see.

From → this moment

4 Comments
  1. solitary monk permalink

    Here’s a disturbing article on the smuggling of Buddhist relics in India I came across while I was googling.
    Might interest you.
    http://buroangla.blogspot.com/2008/07/carry-away-relics.html

  2. Zing permalink

    I understood with ur feeling .
    Cuz i also dreamed of him in this afternoon .
    I cried after i woke up .
    But i realise he is nt bside me .
    It just a very beautiful dream .
    I miss him so much .
    Time will heal my pain .

    * Hapy lifez always =) *

  3. Thank you Zing

    It sounds like we had almost the same dream. Time does heal, I agree, but he will also always be with you I believe. It was beautiful, sad and happy. Many emotions, but mainly sweet and beautiful.

  4. Thanks Monk,

    I will visit the link. I have heard of Buddhist relics being stolen by the ton and it is very disturbing.

    Right now I am just trying to pull this blog together and my posts are pretty simple and personal. But I ALWAYS welcome comments related to Buddhism or other world religions. Thanks for this linke,

    Bubba

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