Doing Zazen

There are instructions for Zazen under theZazen under the meditation tab. Try doing it for 5 minutes using your cell or whatever as a timer. Increase slowly. Soon you will be doing 30 or 40 minutes in a stretch, but don’t try to marathon til you bild up your Zazen muscles. You will become, at the very least, a much calmer person capable of great concentration. Your communication with friends and partners will improve and much more. There are no promises with Zen and you should sit with no expectations (no gaining idea). But to deny the fruits of Zazen is not very motivating, huh? Let me know what it is like for you.

Just let go

I find myself feeling tired of thinking these days. I know on both intellectual and experiential levels that no-thought is available at any time. I can stop thinking. No I don’t mean “blank my mind”. With leting go of thinking I am “happy”. Not the bubbly, jumping around kind of Snoopy happiness, but the life flowing through me and losing myself in doing and being (do-be-do-be-dooo….couldnt’ resist) kind of happiness.

I swear I used to be able to do it. I kind of did it all the time. I don’t consider myself enlightened, whatever that is, except perhaps in the sense of Dogen’s “Zazen itself is enlightenment” – and when I say all the time, I mean it was a habit gained from Zazen – as far as I can tell. It seemed like a change in view point, much like the directions for happiness that follow here:

You strive, struggle and fight to get things that you think will make you happy. And all the while, happiness is already yours to choose without the things, without the struggle, without the fight.

You place limits and conditions on your happiness, and tie it to things that do not last. And all the while, happiness is already yours to choose without the limits, without the conditions.

When happiness is conditional and dependent, it ceases to be happiness and becomes merely another chore, another thing to struggle for, another thing to lose. True and lasting happiness is not a result but is a cause.

Let the happiness you seek flow out from you, rather than trying in vain to get it flowing into you. Let the world around you be an expression of your happiness, instead of depending on it to provide you with happiness.

Do you want to be happy? Then know that nothing is stopping you other than the limits and conditions you place on that happiness. Let joy and happiness flow out from you. And the rest of your world will soon follow along.

– Ralph Marston

The heart of the matter -Does It Work?

The question we are often asking ourselves, but one that is rarely spoken aloud, is addressed simply and directly here by Sensei Janet Jiryu Abel in this excerpt from a talk. In the Soto school of Zen, which is the predominant sect in Japan, the practice consists almost entirely of Shikintaza or “just sitting”. Shikintaza is literally to take the posture of Zazen and just sit there with no goals, no aspirations, no good, no bad, just sit. There are no cookies or trophies. You don’t necessarily get up from sitting feeling great that you did it. You may rise from your noble posture only to ask yourself why the hell would anybody just sit there like a dumbass.

Practice and a dream

I had a dream just now that was quite interesting. Zen doesn’t seem to put a lot of stock in dreams. I’ve heard it’s the result of too much sleep (not the case for this one however). I think the ancients paid more attention to them. I’ve belonged to some dream groups and had Jungian analysis, which often uses dreams. To me dreams are a message from myself to myself. A letter maybe telling me what is happening in my life.

This dream had a lot of repeathing themes. It was set in a huge home that seemed to have endless new wings.

Today’s practice

My goal was to start my daily zazen practice yesterday with two ten minute periods. Well I did one. I have done two already today, one early, about 5 am and one around noon. Ten minutes is a very short time in terms of Zazen. It takes that long just to settle into position and for all the thoughts to begin to stop fluttering around, especially the one that says “look at me, I’m doing ZEN, bubba!” Again, cheating at solitaire.

I think my sitting was good. I managed my posture well and I do remember the posture. My major problem is lower back pain caused by letting my belly sink forward and pulling my lower back in and butt out. But I’m finding it, I’m finding it. I’m finding that invisible line that runs through my head and body and straight on down into the earth. I am doing shikantaza at times (just sitting, following the breath) and I am counting the breath at other times.

I have begun a technique that I’ve never heard of. Many times I have heard Zen masters and teachers say that the in breath is not so important as the out breath. In the temple, the in breath was supposed to be no more than half the length of the out breath. My teacher’s Master wens so far as to say that he DOESN’T breath in. I am sure he meant that he puts all his attention on the out. Suzuki says that people who are interested in the in breath tend to be selfish.

So what I did during my last session was simply to take that quick in breath and use the time to subtly adjust my posture. The breath is very quick, not abrupt or gasping but quick. There is always some subtle adjustment that I would be doing anyway. moving my hand an eighth of an inch to make a more perfect mudra, settling my ass a squinch and, very often lifting and straightening my back and head and tucking my chin. These tiny movements would not be observable by someone sitting next to me or even watching me maybe. I think everyone does it. It’s really the practice – keeping the posture. But this way my concentration is not on the in-breath and my posture is in constant check. I can let the out breath flow slowly and watch it all the way down to the very bottom. I like it – but I’ll have to check it out with Rubin when I finally get dokusan (private interview – I promise to start a glossary soon) with him.

So, again the ten minutes is short and I will probably increase to twenty-five very soon. This is way premature, but I may even start doing two twenty-five minute rounds with a five minute kinhin (walking meditation) in the middle. We’ll see.

New – Zazen Instruction

If you have access to a Zen center and/or a well qualified instructor, please get instruction from them.

I’ve added a new page (button at top) with basic instruction on how to sit Zazen. If you can sit full lotus, then do so. If you, like most of us, have so sit in one of the other postures, they are all just fine. The important thing is to sit as well as you can.

Obviously this is not meant to be replacement for a living instructor. But it can serve those who do not have access to such a person and as a reminder when you need to be sure you are using the correct posture.

I, myself have to use a bench (like the sitting in a chair photo) because of large weight gain and arthritis. I hope to work back up to at least Burmese or half lotus. But, one more time, the important thing is to sit Zazen.

Finally, I sit

I got all the goodies that I think I need to sit. Yes, yes, I know you don’t need nothing but yer body, but, hell, the right tool for the right job ya know? Plus there’s reasons for these things.

Actually it don’t amount to much and I still don’t have a bell (not to mention a mokyugo (sp), but I”ll live.

I actually am really happy I found this “saddle stool” at Target and for a reasonable price. It’s narrow and dished out in the middle for comfort. I can either straddle it like I’m riding a horse, or sit like it’s a regular stool and put my feet flat on the floor. It’s just the right height and with a towel for padding quite comfy. It’ll be useful later on, perhaps as a drawing stool as well.

I have my timer, my comfy clothes ( I do miss my robe, nothing more comfortable than that) and my incense. I had to pick some up at pier one until I can get to a place that sells the good stuff. My favorite is Shoyeido.

So today, at sunup (it’s just now 6 am here) I will actually sit for a timed 10 minutes and this afternoon before dinner, another 10. I decided to start out at 10 minutes twice a day and work up to 25 twice a day in a couple weeks. I have seen that people sometimes try to push right into a lengthy sitting routine only to give up sitting at all in a week or so. My spiritual life (for lack of a better term) has its own timetable and I won’t push it.

I am just glad I have worked up to this point. Is it getting light outside? No not yet.

sketching and practice

As I re-enter the practice of Zen I notice myself following a course similar to when I first started serious practice years ago. At first doing Zazen seems like a dreaded chore to be put off or ignored, so to break it into tolerable chunks I would do what I now think of as “one breath” meditations. That is. letting my breath settle for a moment and then taking a deep breath and letting it go slowly.

at this moment

I have been posting various excerpts, vids, and stuff found elsewhere that strikes something in me instead of sharing anything of myself. There’s several reasons for this.

The obvious difficulty in making posts in this blog is trying to think of words that point to an experience that is beyond words. I have read admonitions in many books about getting stuck “eating the menu” or, in other words, to attempt to find satisfaction in thinking or talking about a practice that, by definition is not based in words or letters. But then there HAVE been MANY books, as I said. So, talking about the unspeakable is certainly popular. Human nature I guess.

Zazen at my old Zendo

I’ve talked about it for years. The man who introduced me to Zen and the Zen center he started. I actually visited it at its new and infinitely more peaceful location last Sunday. I am going back through orientation and that is fine. I and my body have changed. It’s HARD to sit now. I have to use a bench but I do have faith that I can reach half-lotus again given time. I so look forward to seeing Rubin again.

I can’t go into much more detail at the moment but the Maria Kannon Zen Center (hereafter referred to as MKZC) will probably be a popular subject in future posts. Take a moment to check out their site, it’s a good one.